Dear indie friends,

There is a particular kind of disappointment that arrives a few hours before a party.

I’ve said yes. I meant it. I want to see the people who invited me. I’ve pictured myself there, talking, listening to people, staying longer than planned.

And then my body says no.

From the outside, it looks like a last-minute cancellation. From the inside, it feels like watching a door close on something I was looking forward to.

This is part of my relationship with illnesses that people don’t always see, and whose effects are too easily dismissed. I can seem fine when we speak. I can make plans with real enthusiasm. Neither of those things tells you what I’ll be able to do on the day itself.

The hardest part isn’t always missing the evening. It’s the message I have to send. I worry that, after enough cancellations, “I can’t come” starts to sound like “I don’t want to.” So I search for an explanation that will be believed, while wishing I didn’t have to make a case for my own body.

I know a cancellation can disappoint someone else, too. I don’t expect it to feel good. I just wish there were more room for both truths: I wanted to come, and I couldn’t.

Music gives me another way to be with people. A song can reach someone when I can’t make it across town. A radio show can bring voices together without asking everybody to have enough energy for a crowded room. That matters to me. It doesn’t replace the party I missed, but it keeps a connection open.

So if I say yes to an invitation, please know I mean yes. And if, a few hours before, I have to stay home, please know I meant it then, too.

Have you ever had to cancel something you truly wanted to do because your body wouldn’t let you? You can reply to this email. I’d like to hear how you put it into words.

TODAY, THE SALON GOES BELGIAN

Today’s Le Salon Indie de Mitxoda is a Belgium special, featuring mostly bands I’m lucky enough to call friends. It feels good to spend a show with music made close to home, by people I care about. I will introduce it, and close it. But no live session this time, sorry.

But, hey, come as you are. Listening from home counts.

Until next week,

I hope someone keeps inviting you, even when you can’t always say yes.

Mitxoda

Read what other indie people answered, and add yours.

Two songs about what happens when the story we tell ourselves no longer quite holds.

1. 🇧🇪 The Siffredis — Wrap My Head
Out this Friday, September 25. Heavy riffs meet the difficult moment of admitting someone else was right.

2. 🇫🇷 Nikola Zenko — Who Are We?
Coming October 9. A song written nearly twenty years ago still asks who we become under others’ eyes.

Every Friday at 4:00 PM (Brussels time) a new episode of Le Salon Indie de Mitxoda will take place on salon.mitxoda.be, don’t miss it.

Last week, it was all about my latest track Maison Vide… listen again here.

One word. A few clues. Your indie brain against the clock.

Play Soundcheck → One word. A few clues. Your indie brain against the clock.

Vote in the Weekly 100 → Help independent songs climb the community ranking.

Listen to Le Salon Indie → Two hours inside the independent music world.

Submit a Song → Making music yourself? Send it to Mitxoda.

END 😆